i don't feel like someone who should be giving advice
but i made it up to this point so why not
shit will happen and you can't prepare for it
that is exactly why it is called shit
but you can find life in some things for example in writing or creating something.. even when it feels like death. no, esspecially when it feels like death cos going into death head first is what proves to you that you are alive. yes you could just lay in bed and enjoy life all you want, but something will happen, something always does. and then you will see that you were not living. you were waiting for death to take you.
and now as i am writing this i don't have answers. i don't even have systems or tools i could give you to help. i am actually doing this just to stay sane. but still if you are willing to listen there may be something worth hearing.
this for example - yes you are full of shit and you think you are smart even if you don't know it. it is simply how our brains manage in this never stopping stream of information. but you have to be aware of it as it is often your biggest enemy. i do even trust you know a lot, as it is hard not to when you have access to so much information. but remember you haven't lived it, you havent had to bear the pain needed to come with that information yourself, which doesn't mean the information is not true. it just means it can't be transfered to you in whole as only experience is whole.